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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, finding a significant other has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly defined by social media slang.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated challenge on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive guide to the words gen Z is using to talk about love, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your partner’s response is engaged or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means going for someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to couples who opt out of having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks signaling a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits validate your decision to pursue a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any sense of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {